I Don't Know You Anymore
by Tyleet
Summary: Takes place about 7 months after Sephiroth's death. Cloud never got over Aeris's death and told his friends not to contact him anymore. Despite this, Tifa comes to see him and tries to bring him back. Unfortunately, nothing good comes from it. Angst, alc
1. The Visit

I Don't Know You Anymore

A songfic by Tyleet

A/N: Thanx to my sister Khavi, who helped me edit this so that Cloud and Shard weren't gay.... Couldn't have done it without you!! (I have nothing against yaoi.... I love it, it just didn't fit my theme and was purely accidental that it happened in the first place.... anyway, it's gone now) Well, um... Basically this is a Tifa + Cloud thing, but (don't ask me how) I managed to work my other fic "Gunning Down Romance" into the equation. If this starts to not make sense, then.... well, I recommend reading it. It will probably make enough sense without it, though. Anyway, slight language, little bit of violence, sadness and angst , and other than that that's all for my warnings. I'll stop rambling now and let you read the fic, K?

Disclaimer: If I owned FFVII, then Sephiroth would NOT die at the end, Aeris would not be at the bottom of a Mako pool, and the two would be a happy peppy little couple. Seeing how THAT's not happening, I don't claim to own any rights to the thing. Happy now? Also, I don't own Savage Garden or their songs.

**_I would like to visit you for awhile_

get away, and out of this city

maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break**

Tifa stood just outside of Costa del Sol in indecision. Should she go in? This was where Cloud lived and she longed to see him. She loved him so much. But still... the last time she'd visited him, months ago... No, she wouldn't think about it. She couldn't. Apprehensively, she walked into the beachside city.

Looking around, at first it seemed exactly the same. Children played on the sidewalks, vendors sold souvenirs to tourists, beautiful girls in bathing suites headed for the beach with their handsome surfer boyfriends. It looked so normal Tifa almost thought that nothing had changed after all. Turning in the general direction of Cloud's condo she started forward slowly, enjoying the peace while she could.

At his front door, she could hear heavy metal playing from inside. Her fears confirmed, she sighed and opened the door. Immediately, booming music cranked up to earsplitting levels, the bitter smell of alcohol and the sight of a mass of people with hair dyed radical colors and a general punk attitude dancing in the trashed house assaulted all of her senses. In the middle of it all stood a man with spiky black hair dyed blood red at the ends, dressed all in black with silvery metal chain necklaces. This man, who had his back to her, seemed to be the ringleader. Speechless, she felt the eyes of almost all the men in the room examine her with interest and those of the women glare at her with envy. The man in charge, noticing something different, turned to see what everyone was looking at, a slightly drunken smile on his face. It disappeared when he saw her. Her dark brown eyes met his, which were, as she had known they would be, an intense, glowing blue.

"Cloud..." she whispered as he took a few menacing steps toward her.

Comments like "Go get 'em Blade!" and "Yeah Blade! It's your lucky day, man!" came from the partiers, along with hooting and whistling. Cloud didn't acknowledge them. His eyes, slightly unfocussed because of alcohol, narrowed at her in a glare as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Tifa, what are you doing here? I told you not to come back!" he hissed, barely audible over all the noise.

"Cloud, I-"

"Hey Blade, is that your old girlfriend or something? She's hot, man!" called a guy with a blue mohawk, cutting Tifa off.

"Something like that. Keep partying Shard. I'll be back in a minute," called Cloud, grabbing Tifa's arm.

"Whatever, man. Don't be too long," came Shard's reply with a wink. A fight broke out between two skimpily clad women and Tifa and Cloud were forgotten.

** _We can go sit on the back porch_

relax

talk about anything,

it don't matter

I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me **

Blade dragged Tifa outside, angry. What was she thinking, anyway? Hadn't he made it quite clear that he didn't want to see her six months ago, the last time she'd come?

Outside in the hot sun, Blade let go of Tifa and turned to face her. He didn't really know what to say, and he was too surprised at her arrival to think of something, but he knew he didn't want this scene in front of his friends. He settled for glaring down at her.

"Cloud..."

"Blade. My name is Blade. Cloud Strife died with Aeris," he growled.

Tifa's eyes filled with hurt tears which she stubbornly held back.

"You know that's not true!! I miss her too! She was my friend, ok? We all loved her, but it's been seven months now! This isn't what she would have wanted for you, Cloud!"

"It's Blade!" he roared. Then, realizing people walking by were staring, he lowered his voice. "Tifa, we've been through this already. I am not the Cloud Strife you used to know. He's gone. I am Blade now. Don't forget it." He avoided mentioning Aeris again... that memory was still fresh in his mind, like a new wound that hurt to be touched.

"Cloud.... Blade," she started, using both of his names. "Look at you. You changed your name, you dyed your hair, and you must have enough metal around your neck to rebuild half of Coral. But you haven't changed your soul. You can't. Blade. A name. It means nothing whether or not I call you that. You're still you, Cloud!"

"Well, if it doesn't make a difference, I'd _prefer_ to be called Blade," was his cold reply. He was loosing his patience with Tifa.

"Fine. Blade. I didn't come here to discuss names. I came to see you. I- I miss you, Blade. Come back to Midgar with me. It's amazing all the reconstruction that's been done in these months since Meteor. There are no slums anymore. Please Blade, please!"

Her eyes pleaded with his. Their rich dark brown color was full of concern. So different from _her_ eyes... The wise green eyes that he longed for... Aeris's eyes. But she was gone, and without her he would never be the same again. But the expression Tifa held, so like Aeris's. Kind and loving. It took all his willpower not to give in to those eyes. Suddenly, they seemed to turn the fresh spring color he missed so much, pleading with him. But for what? To go with Tifa? No. He wouldn't forget Aeris's memory so easily. He turned his back on the mesmerizing stare before he could change his mind.

"Thanks anyway Tifa, but no. I'm happy here," Blade announced formally. It would be best to get rid of her quick then go inside, get a beer, and try to dull the ache. As he started forward, he felt a hand on his right arm, gently placed. He stiffened against the touch, and against the shivers it sent up his spine.

"Please, it would mean so much to me... Please, Cloud."

Without thinking, Blade whipped around angrily and backhanded Tifa across the face- hard. "Dammit Tifa! It's Blade! I'm not coming with you, so if that's all you have to say, leave!"

One hand to her cheek, she glared up at him with tear filled eyes, the warm look they'd had moments ago turned cold. "Bastard...." she whispered in fury. "You damned BASTARD!" she screamed, unable to contain her pain and shock.

He felt the sting on his cheek before he realized that she had slapped him. Blade stared at her, unable to respond. He hadn't meant to hit her, it had just happened, but it was too late now. Tifa shook her head angrily, backing away. Before he could say anything, she turned and ran, unwilling to let him see the tears that streamed down her face.

Blade realized suddenly that everyone in the street was staring at him, already forming the latest gossip about "that boy" and how the "punk riffraff" had hit a girl. He didn't care. He needed a cold beer, loud music, and his friends who were in his house. At his door he stopped and took one last look behind him for a glimpse of Tifa, but she was already gone. Telling himself that he wasn't disappointed, he stepped inside, looking for solace in a place where, deep in his heart, he knew it wouldn't be.

A/N: Nope, it's not over! That was just chapter one! This is very, very long, be forewarned. I wasn't going to chapter it at first, but if I didn't it would just be long and boring. I have the whole thing typed out and will post the next part soon, but I want some feedback on this part first, ok? Please? Comments and criticisms will be applied to future fics (not this one, seeing as it's already done, but I like advice) Thanx for reading! It means a lot to me!


	2. Changed Opinions

Disclaimer: I said it in Chapter one, it does not need repeated.

A/N Ok, here is chapter 2! I want to thank each and every person who reviewed. It meant alot. I put the fic out a day earlier than I was going to just for you!

**_Because I don't know you anymore_

I don't recognize this place

the picture frames have changed and so has your name**

Outside of Costa Del Sol, Tifa fell to her knees and broke down into uncontrollable sobs. What had happened to Cloud? There had been a time in her life when she thought she'd known him, thought she could trust him with her life. But now he was so cold, so cruel. Nothing was the same anymore.

For the few seconds she'd been in his house, she'd seen cases full of weapons of all kind. The few photos he'd had months ago of Aeris and the others had been replaced with pictures of heavy metal and punk bands and posters from the latest action/horror movies. 'When had this happened?' she asked herself, finally gaining control of her sobs. Six months, only half a year since she had seen him. How could so much have changed? She missed the young mercenary who had once given her a flower, a gift so rare and beautiful in Midgar. But apparently, that sweet youth was gone.

'Even his damned name is different,' she thought bitterly, sending herself once again into hysterics. This time she didn't try to stop them. She lay on the grass under the warm sun and cried her private agony for hours. 

**_We don't talk much anymore_

we keep running from the pain

but what I wouldn't give to see your face again**

Inside the condo, Blade downed two beers almost immediately. He enjoyed the temporary numbness the alcohol brought and cleared beer cans off of the couch to make a place to sit. His friend Shard came over and sat next to him after a few minutes.

"Hey man. 'Sup? You seem kinda down. Is it that chick, dude? What'd she do, dump you or something?" he asked, shaking his blue mohawk for emphasis. Blade glanced at his companion's laughing blue eyes, a few shades lighter than his own, and sighed.

"It's complicated, Shard. Very complicated. And a very long story," he said, leaning back and covering his face with his arm.

Growing serious, Shard looked at his friend. "Tell me about it, man. How'd you meet her? How do you know her? Tell me all about her. Spill it, man!"

Blade looked at Shard for a minute in indecision. Finally, he nodded. "Ok, well, her name is Tifa, and-." Just then, however, one of his friends, who called herself Chain, grabbed Blade from behind.

"C'mon Blade. Let's dance. It's not healthy to sit here and pout like a kid."

Blade glanced at the dark haired woman, then at Shard, who shrugged. Turning back to Chain, he nodded and said, "Ok, whatever."

"Tell me later then, ok man?" Shard called out.

"Yeah, sure, later. Good a time as any," he replied, heading up to dance with Chain. Looking her over, he took in the knee high black boots, a black lace miniskirt, and a deep red belly shirt under a dark leather jacket. 'Nice,' he thought with approval. He made an effort to lose himself in the dance with her, but it didn't work. Every time he looked into her steel gray eyes, they seemed to turn bright emerald green, or sometimes, confident, mahogany brown.

** _Springtime in the city _

always such relief from the winter freeze

the snow is more lonely than cold if you know what I mean**

Back at Midgar, Tifa went straight to her apartment. She hadn't been lying, Midgar was getting remodeled. Slowly yet surely, it was becoming a beautiful city unlike the horrible slums it had been before. Tifa still had a bar, but it was nicer than the first had been. Now she got higher tips and better pay, and her apartment was well furnished. 

At the moment, however, she didn't notice any of it. She sat on the window seat and stared outside at the sixth floor view. It was turning spring in Midgar, and there was just a little bit of snow left on the ground, quickly melting in the bright midday sun. Sighing, she thought about Cloud. In a way, her world was like winter and he was snow. Winter was always cold and lonely, which she definitely felt. She's always looked forward to snow as a child, but was always surprised when she got to it and the white powder that had appeared so harmless seemed to strike out at her with its icy harshness. Like Cloud. Tifa knew that it wouldn't help to sit around moping, but she didn't care. She missed Cloud so much.

"Why?" she asked out loud, trying to sort through her feelings. "Why do I miss him? He hit me! I should forget him!" Angrily, she felt her cheek. It was bruised badly and still hurt. Then she remembered the look on Cloud's face when she had yelled at him. He'd looked so torn, so confused.

"So what? He deserves it for what he did. I hate him!"

But if she hated him so much, why did her throat tighten and her chest hurt just thinking about him?

**_Everyone's got an agenda_

don't stop, keep that chin up you'll be alright**

Out on the beach, Blade and Shard sat a few feet away from each other gazing up at the star studded skies. In the distance, the sound of partying and loud music was the only thing that disturbed the quiet.

Blade was glad that Shard didn't rush him to talk. He needed some time to get his thoughts together. Absently listening to the harsh music he knew so well, he thought about what Tifa had said.

"You changed your name.... but you didn't change your soul..... You can't.... it means nothing whether or not I call you that.....

Was it true? Blade looked at Shard. He knew Shard wasn't his real name, because none of his new friends had kept their real names. Like himself, they all had a past that they wanted to forget. Like himself, it had all started with Meteor. He had never really thought too much about it before. Did they all have the same inner struggles that he had? Most of them had taken the name of their preferred weapon, but Shard claimed that he named himself after his life, which was "just broken shards," in his own words. Had Shard been able top change his soul as easily as his name?

No, he finally decided. Tifa had been right. Shard might seem like a cold hearted punk on the outside, but sometimes, like tonight, he proved that he was a serious, concerned person and a good friend. If he wasn't, why would he be trying to help Blade sort out his confusion? He knew that Chain was the same with her friends, too.

"Shard," he said abruptly, "What is your real name?"

"Huh? Is _that _what's been bothering you?" Shard asked, turning to look at his friend.

"..... Kind of. I dunno." He shrugged. "I was just wondering, what was your life like, you know, before?"

"Before, huh? You mean before Meteor? Well, I lived in Midgar then. I- I was away with some friends when... when it happened." His blue eyes grew sad, then hard and angry as he refused to let himself cry over long buried memories. He swallowed once, considering his words before continuing. "My name was Damon Wolfe and my family was still in the city when it hit..." His voice broke and he angrily tossed his beer can at a passing seagull.

"I'm sorry, man," Blade said, realizing that this was the first time Shard has ever told anyone about his past. Scenes of his own pain flashed before his eyes. The fire in Nibelheim..... Tifa and Zak bleeding, pierced by Sephiroth's sword..... losing his mother to the inferno... Aeris's face as Sephiroth impaled her.... he relived the sorrow all over again. It all seemed to begin and end with Sephiroth. But now Sephiroth was gone and he still couldn't let it go. He knew he needed to talk to someone. But with Shard reliving his own past, Blade decided against confiding in him tonight. He took a drink of his beer and tossed another one to Shard.

"C'mon, man. Let's get back to the party. I saw a bunch of hot ladies heading to the beach tonight." 

Shard smiled, steered away from his memories, and opened the beer. "Good idea. Let's see if we can get lucky with one tonight, huh?"

"Yeah." And with that, they got up and walked back towards the music and lights.

**_Can you believe what a year it's been_

are you still the same?

has your opinion changed?**

Tifa sat looking out her window at the bright moon, lost in thought. Only a year... It was so hard to believe. Barely a year ago Cloud had come here, a mercenary for AVALANCHE. How could so much happen in so little time? It didn't seem possible, but it was. The bruise on her cheek this morning had confirmed that. She had tried to tell herself that Blade had done that, not Cloud. But that went against everything she had told him two days ago about names and souls. 

'Was I wrong about that?' she wondered. Looking back, it seemed entirely possible. Cloud would never have hit her. He had saved her life a few times! But this "Blade"... He was nothing like Cloud. He was violent, angry.... 'I just proved myself wrong, didn't I?' she thought absently. 'I've changed even without taking a new name.'

She knew it was true. The Tifa from last year wouldn't be sitting here, fingering a bruise, lost and heartbroken. Tifa Lockhart from a year ago would be in Cloud's face, giving him a verbal bashing while kicking his ass if he'd hit her then. She smiled ruefully at the thought. Then she frowned. Has she changed so much in one year that she had been reduced from a kick-ass fighter to a love-struck waif? Looking at the situation, it looked like yeah, she had. Her frown deepened at the thought of even calling herself "waif." That word sounded so helpless and weak.

A spark of the old Tifa lit within her and she stood determinedly, threw some clothes into a duffle bag, grabbed a few other items and stuffed them in with the clothes, and started for the stairs. She was going back to Costa Del Sol.

Whew!!! Another chappy down!! I'm happy so many people reviewed! I wasn't going to post it yet, but people seemed to like it. ::shrug:: Personally, I liked my other fic better, plotwise anyways. Just so you know, when I said in my A/N for chapter 1 that my sis helped get rid of an unwanted yaoi scene, the beach thing was it. Tell me if it lingers, alright? Again, please review if you want more!


	3. Eye Colors and Important Choices

I Don't Know You Anymore pt. 3

Disclaimer: Been here, said this. Not saying it again. See chapter 1 if you really think I own anything.

A/N: Nothing to say. Continues where part 2 left off.

**_Because I don't know you anymore _

I don't recognize this place

the picture frames have changed and so has your name**

Blade took another swig of beer. The loud music of the nightly beach party made a good distraction, but drunkenness was much more effective. He looked up to see Shard in nearly the same state, dancing with some girl who was more wasted than either of them. Her eyes were glaze d slightly and she looked ready to fall over, but she was HOT. Short blond hair, tank top, heels, and slits all the way up the already too short skirt. Blade didn't recognize her, but that didn't surprise him. His vision and mind were both so clouded it was a miracle that he'd recognized Shard, his best friend.

"Hey Shard! Nice!" he yelled over the roar of the party.

Shard glanced at him and smiled. "Hey, good luck to you man!" he called over his shoulder as the girl dragged him off to a more private part of the beach.

Amused, Blade grabbed yet another What was this? Fifth? Sixth? More than that? Did it even matter? 'Nah,' he decided as he chugged half of it almost immediately.

"Hey Blade! Good to see that you're feeling better!" a woman's voice said from behind him. Turning, Blade saw Chain walking towards him. He grinned.

"Yep, and getting better all the time!" he called, taking in her clothes. Or rather, her lack of them. She wore a black triangular bikini top that exposed a lot of cleavage. To go with that, she had on black jean shorts that were so tight they could have been a second skin. An image of long chestnut hair, tight fitting white shirt, brown miniskirt and lively mahogany eyes flashed through his mind. Immediately, he banished the thought and turned his attention to the woman at hand.

"Good to hear," Chain replied, grinning. She grabbed a beer and drained it in three seconds flat. It was amazing. Blade had seen her drinking at least twice as much as him already but she looked like she was just getting started. This chick had major tolerance.

"So, wanna dance Blade?" she asked.

"Sure. Why not? It's better than standing here." He finished his own booze, tossed the can over his shoulder, and let Chain pull him onto the part of the shore that served as the dance floor, all earlier thoughts of Tifa forgotten in his half drunken stupor.

**_We don't talk much anymore_

we keep running from these sentences 

but what I wouldn't give to see your face again**

The full moon shone on Tifa from overhead. She leaned on the railing of a ship, halfway across the ocean on her way back to Costa Del Sol. The cool salty spray cleared her head, and the sea breeze whipped her long hair behind her. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift. Not counting a few days earlier, the last time she'd been on a boat crossing the ocean she'd been with the rest of AVALANCHE and they'd had an encounter with Sephiroth. Of course, back then Aeris had been alive and Cloud had never stuck her.

Her lips curled angrily at the memory of his hand slamming against her cheek, jarring her neck and causing her eyes to water out of shock. When she arrived in Costa Del Sol, she had every intention of telling Blade exactly what she thought of him- in between punches as she beat him senseless. Old friend or not, she was going to treat him the same way she'd treat any man who dared to do that to her. For a moment the thought gave her immense pleasure, but then she felt a guilty twinge in her stomach.

'Go away,' she thought angrily. 'Blade disserves what he's about to get and then some! I have no reason to have second thoughts!'

The bruise on her face was beginning to fade from bright blue to a lighter shade of purple, but it was still painfully clear to her. No, she would _not _have second thoughts, not so close to her destination. Tifa steeled herself against her conscience. She was more than halfway there. There was no turning back now. Backing away from the railing, she lay on a nearby bench to stargaze. Half awake, she started to drift off. Just as she closed her eyes, she could have sworn that the stars burned a brilliant blue with a glowing Mako tinge.

**_I know I let you down _

again and again

I know I never really treated you right

I've paid the price

I'm still paying for it every day**

Blade and Chain were out of site of the party, rolling in the sand and occasionally getting smacked by a large wave, making out. A six pack lay a few feet away, a supply for later. Both of them were now drop dead drunk. Chain had had so much liquor that even her incredible tolerance had given out. She swayed when she tried to walk and slurred all of her words.

"Mmm..... Blade..... you sure 'er feelin' be'er..." Chain managed as she paused for breath, smiling as she looked up at him.

"Tol' ya," Blade grinned.

"Mmmhmm, bu' yer better'n I thought," she murmured, running her fingers through his spiky black hair. Suddenly, she started to pull off his leather jacket and he helped by attempting to wiggle his arms out of the sleeves.

'Oh yeah..... this is what I need.... ' he thought. 'This is a perfect painkiller.' Gazing down into her metallic gray eyes, he let himself totally forget Aeris as he reached over to unsnap her bikini top. But as she clumsily started to slip him out of his shirt, something, whether it was the alcohol in his brain or his subconscious he didn't know, caused him to again see her eyes turn green. He started, shaking his head. Blinking down at her, the eyes changed back to her own.

"S'matter, Bladey?" Chain asked, noticing his hesitation.

"N-nothing," he replied. But when he looked again, her eyes seemed to turn to a lively brown, then wise green, and back again.

"NO!" he cried, pulling away. 'This can't be happening....' he thought wildly. The more he looked at Chain, however, the swifter her eyes seemed to shift in color until it was all one big blur. Almost desperately, he tore himself away from his friend.

"Hey Blade! C'me back!" Chain protested.

"No! Stop!" he yelled. Stumbling awkwardly to his feet, he grabbed the six pack and took off as fast as his wasted legs would carry him. What was happening to him? How could he even begin to compare Tifa to Aeris? There was no competition.... right? Finally, he collapsed, exhausted, in the sand, out of sight of Chain, who he could still faintly hear calling after him.

"I'm sorry Aeris..... I couldn't save you....." Blade said quietly to himself. He yanked a can out of its plastic bindings. "I'm so sorry," he murmured before gulping at the alcohol as fast as he could, his only thought of stopping the barrage of confusion and guilt assaulting him. The last thing he remembered before the world went black was two pairs of eyes dancing in front of his face, one green, one brown.

**_So maybe I shouldn't have called_

was it too soon to tell?

oh what the hell

it doesn't really matter

how do you redefine something that never really had a name?**

"Miss? Miss, wake up. We're here."

"Hmm?" Tifa opened his eyes and looked at the man above her in confusion. It took her a moment before she realized that he worked on the ship and was telling her that they'd finally made it. When had she fallen asleep?

"Thanks," she said tiredly. Looking around, she noticed that it was already past noon. Holy, how long had she been asleep? Yawning, she picked up her bag and walked down to the dock. She saw the remnants of a party much like the one at Blade's house scattered along the beach, but no Blade. All the better. She wanted to prepare a bit before "visiting" him.

She checked into the Inn. After getting something to eat, she went to her room and put her stuff on her bed. Digging through her bag until she found a hairbrush, Tifa absently looked out the window, a now familiar habit. Carefully, she brushed back the long chestnut locks and pulled them into a ponytail at the nape of her neck. The last thing she needed was for her hair to get in her way today. That would not be good at all. Taking out her Dragon Claw glove, she examined the weapon with approval. Even through the months of disuse, it was still in good condition. It wasn't her best weapon by far, but she only wanted to hurt Blade, not kill him, and she had the foresight to realize that she might do just that without meaning to with her Premium Heart. This would do. Yes, this would do beautifully. Slipping onto her hand, she looked in the mirror.

Tifa looked dangerous and she knew it, with her killer body, eyes burning with rage, and the remnants of the bruise emphasizing her cheek. It was going on 2:00pm, according to the clock on the dresser. Confidently, trying to rid herself of all leftover doubts, she walked outside, ignoring the stares she received. She went straight to Cloud's house.

'No, Blade,' she reminded herself sarcastically, mocking him in her head. 'The jerk.'

Once she reached the porch, though, she hesitated. Was this really a good idea? Was this really the way to fix things? And if it was, was it too soon after the incident to tell anything definite from his reaction? Did she _really_ want to hurt him, or was it just her injured pride and broken heart talking? 'What the hell,' she thought, casting uncertainty away. That didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that he had hurt her in more ways than one, and now it was payback time.

Preparing what she was going to say once more, she thought wistfully about what she and Cloud had once had. But what had they had in the first place? They'd never gone on a date. Sure, Cloud had been infatuated with her as a child, but what about now? Could she really redefine her relationship with him when she wasn't even sure what it had been originally? 'Well, whatever it was, it's not something good now. Hello? He HIT you, remember?' the still hurt part of herself reminded her. Nodding, she made her decision.

Taking a deep breath, Tifa raised her fist and brought it down hard on the door.

A/N: Oooh.... a cliffhanger!!! I'm proud! So what do you think? I think you'll be surprised at what happens...... But you'll just have to wait, have patience, and review if you ever want to find out. I'm evil like that.


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